Celebrating Wife Appreciation Day!
Hey folks, it’s that time of the year again. It’s Wife Appreciation Day today. Yippee! Yes, they actually felt the need to have such a day to remind husbands to appreciate their wives – at least once a year – for all that they do for them and the family. Of course there’s that rare breed of husbands who’ll say: Oh, for me, every day is Wife Appreciation Day. God bless these good souls, and may their tribe increase.
Wives cook, dust, clean, nurse, babysit, teach, counsel, comfort, offer moral support; some even work full time to keep the home fires burning, and yet tackle a zillion chores to manage the household. So surely, a teensy-weensy bit of appreciation, even a warm hug, now and then is not asking for too much, is it? Ask any wife and she’ll tell you it’s the small things, the little gestures of affection, that matter most in a marriage. Not the shimmering gold jewellery or an evening out at a fancy restaurant.
It’s true, wives in general could do with a lot more appreciation than they get. Yes, there are some husbands who may go to extreme lengths to shower praises on their wife. And other husbands could sneer that these guys know life would be hell for them if they didn’t pay lavish tributes to their wives, specially in public. But most wives are not such aggressive hellcats.
And what’s wrong with expecting a little appreciation from those closest to us? The need to be appreciated is a basic human craving. No, I didn’t make that up. That’s what the American philosopher and psychologist William James had said. Continue reading
It’s true. When you learn a new skill, you not only add an element of excitement to the boredom of your daily routine, you can also keep your brain sharp – at any age! Remember what Henry Ford, the legendary American industrialist and founder of the Ford Motor Company, had said? Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
Take the case of Brian May. He shot to international fame in the 70s as one of the world’s leading musicians. Choosing to make a career in music instead of as a scientist, he became the lead guitarist for the famed British rock band Queen. But that’s not the point. Brian May was always passionate about astronomy and astrophysics and had a Bachelor’s degree in Physics from London’s Imperial College. In 2006, at the age of 59, guess what he did. He went back to scientific studies and completed a Ph.D. in astrophysics from the same college! How cool is that?
One Sunday evening in Bombay somewhere in 1963, my family and I were seated on one of the tiered stone steps at the open-air theatre in Victoria Gardens, waiting for the tiatr to begin. (Yes, once upon a time in Bombay, you could enjoy a tiatr alfresco, in the midst of greenery, beneath the stars.)
Can you imagine the agony and frustration of being separated from your loved ones for months at a stretch without any way of communicating with them except perhaps through a letter or two received weeks after being posted? This was what Goan tarvottis and their families had to put up with in the late 1800s and the first half of the 1900s. And that was why each time our tarvottis had to sail away on long voyages on British-run ships such as the S.S. Canberra, or Kampala, it was hard for them to bid their loved ones goodbye.
In the latter half of the1800s, British shipping companies began operating larger, and more modern steamships, opening up a huge market for maritime labour.
So let’s tell the world what women expect from men. Now guys, don’t make a face, thinking: Women, they’re always complaining about stuff. Haven’t men been making rules for women to obey ever since God knows when? Yeah, yeah, we know, since the beginning of time, there have also been men who have always treated women as equals. But at the same time, we can’t deny how men and women, husbands and wives, still keep misinterpreting what the other expects from them. And anyway, men have already been given an opportunity to have their say. Now it’s the turn of the ladies. 
Where do I begin when it comes to encapsulating the many talents, and wonderful qualities of mind and heart of a great Goan like Dr. ManoharRai SarDessai? Of a much loved poet who was honoured with the titles Lok Kavi (the people’s Poet) and Konknni Kaviraj (the Prince of Konkani Poets)? A formidable linguist who wrote in Konkani, English, French, Marathi, and Portuguese, a staunch nationalist and lover of Konkani, a gifted poet who chose to write predominantly in his mother tongue Konkani, could write with ease in both Romi and Nagri scripts, and published many of his works in both these scripts so his work could be accessed by all his fellow Goans… Manoharbab was all this and more.
Remember Shelley’s famed poem “Ode to a Skylark”? The poignantly sweet Goan mando Surya Denvon Guelo beautifully exemplifies the truth in the celebrated poet’s often quoted line – Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought. As a school girl I used to sing this mando composed by one of our great mando composers – Caetano Joao Coutinho from Divar in Ilhas – for my granny, in deference to her frequent requests. 
It’s a fact. Husbands and wives always tend to think the opposite sex is the weird sex. Admit it, most of us think like this: I’m a saint, all that’s going wrong in this relationship is because of him/her… I know no one really enjoys making the marriage space a battle ground. And when we’re in a more amenable mood, and we notice our better half seems to be annoyed about something, we think: If only I knew what was going on inside his/her head… If only I understood what’s the cause of the ‘raging bull’ angry looks…
And that’s where most of the problems spring from. From not understanding the opposite sex. From not reading the signs, signals, or whatever, right. Men mean one thing, women think it’s something else. Or it’s the other way around, and the men are guilty of getting the message wrong. The woman says ‘NO’, but the man is convinced she means ‘YES’. Happens all the time.
For those of you who are finding it hard to come to terms with being a retiree, or are resentful about aging, here’s something to shake you out of that ‘down-in-the-dumps’ mood and make you wake up and smell the coffee.
